Phonies, pseuds, wannabees, frauds, rip-offs, cornies, fakes, conmen – call them whatever you want. Those who think taking one step back is enough, when the exact number of steps would probably be closer to -∞, have without a doubt missed the point. The greatest irony is that they are too often full of goodwill and believe that they have eluded the traps of the post-modern1 consumer society, confident to have found truth.
The reality is, of course, a bit more complex and I would like to add on a very personal note that it would be simplistic, comforting and cynical to just dismiss them as enemies of art. Taking cheap shots at the alternative cultures will not get us anywhere. Jean-Claude Van Dam's philosophy might be a gas to us who know better, but it is still an attempt to seek and speak the truth. Let us at least grant them that.
On the other hand, there is much to be pondered when it comes to discussing the issue of arse-combers, who also believe one step is quite enough and blossom in their alternative way of thinking. Arse-combers come and go. They bore you, they entertain you, they most certainly never ever move you. But wherever you go, there's always a decent chance you'll bump into one, eventually. And they usually introduce you to more arse-combers, whose behaviour can be exuberant, extravagant and flamboyant. But I still contend that their greatest sin is that they take themselves way too seriously and do not have the hindsight to come to the conclusion that they might look and sound like pompous arse-combers.
So if by now you haven't got the message, then there's a good chance that you are an arse-comber yourself, that enjoys going to all those pricey, alternative venues, where you think there is so much truth and authenticity that you leave your judgemental faculties in the locker room with your trendy alternative coat.
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